Readings at the Registry office:

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Yes, I'll marry you my dear
And here's the reason why;
So you can put the dustbin out
When rain falls from the sky
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.
 

 

Yes, I'll marry you my dear
You may not comprehend it,
But when the tumble drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour,
should our black tomcat attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.

by Pam Ayres
(& Jenny)

Yes, I'll marry you my dear
You're virile and you're lean !!
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!
It's you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I've got a headache
It's you who gets the flak.
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do,  I do,  I do !

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The following is allegedly from an Apache Wedding ceremony:

May the sun bring you new energy day by day
May the moon softly restore you by night.
May the rain wash away your worries, and the breeze blow new strength into your being,
And all the days of your life may you walk gently through the world and know its beauty.
Now you will feel no rain, for each will shelter the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each will warm the other.
Now there is no more loneliness;
You are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together,
and may your days be good and long upon the earth.

 

Richard Epworth